How wrong can an unfit 40 something be??

I’m met at the door by a cheery, cherpy slip of a girl with bundles of energy and a waist the size of my bangle. As she looks me up and down she asks me what my objectives are. “Get fit, tone up” says I feeling confident. Okay then let’s start with some cardiovascular to burn off some of that fat says the stick insect grabbing my love handles, that I thought I’d expertly hidden under my Lycra workout top.

We moved over to the cross trainer machine. “My God it’s weird”, laughed I as my legs went one way and my arms went the other. Realising I wasn’t doing it properly, in fact I was going backwards- I was shown how to do it correctly. As the instructor stopped to have a chat with her mate- another stick insect- I hiked up the speed and went full pelt into my cross trainer action. 1.30mins showed on the timer and I was sweating like a navvy and dangerously out of breath. At this point the two instructors looked over and said “mmm,”.

I decided to defer the attention and get off the machine by asking what the others did. Had a go at the exercise bikes not showing myself up too much on them, the rowing machine- showed myself up highly on that, and then we moved to the weights machines.
Sides of arms, back of arms, middle of arms and shoulders. Front of legs, back of legs, sides of legs, all over legs. Backs, boobs and buttocks- you name it we did it. I ended up flat on a mat doing three different types of ab crunches.

45 mins after I’d walked in I barely managed to hobble my way out. With my programme charted in my folder, waiting for me to start I waved to the stick insects who were chatting to a 70yr old guy on the running machine coming up to his 30th minute at top speed.

To top it all when I got home my eldest son lovingly announced, “Mum, you think you’re aching now, wait till tomorrow”. The folder’s still there in the gym waiting 5 days later. One day, one day!!!!!