Having spent the whole of last week battling with the tickly throat I finally succumbed to full blown flu and spent the whole of Saturday in bed. “Don’t worry about anything”, said the husband- “I have everything under control. I’ve got the kids with me and we’re fine. You just rest up”. Yeah right !!!!!

Although I drifted in and out of sleep- you could hardly call it restful. Still not too sure what competition was being contested downstairs- but safe to say it wasn’t a game of tiddlywinks!! Unable to physically move, the words of the kids,” Mum, Dad doesn’t know how to turn on the toaster, where do you pour the fairy liquid in the dishwasher- didn’t exactly help matters. An endless supply of tea with honey, tea with lemsip and the best of all tea with day nurse- yep just what I needed- a huge intake of caffeine whilst bed bound did nothing to ease the soul.

The next day after a night filled with crazy caffeine filled nightmares, I was able to move and tentatively made my way downstairs. The house was quiet- too quiet. Making my way through the kitchen it was difficult to make out where the bin ended and the floor began. A sea of pizza boxes, chinese takeaway cartons and fizzy drink cans- all empty!!! The front room resembled some kind of a squat, more fast food containers, clothes strewn on the floor, game controllers of every description thrown casually around the room, and an array of video and dvd cases all empty lying around the floor. Worse was to come. In the front room there were the kids, fully clothed, laying on the sofas with mouths covered in a fast food assortment. The kids friend, laying on the hard wooden floor with his hoodie over his head, and the mother -in-laws dog curled up in my brand new sweaty betty coat. One of the kids even had their hand still in a family pack of maltesers.

The room looked like we had suffered at the hands of ransackers- who were too lazy to actually take anything.

Two hours later, when the troops had arisen from their slumber I was greeted with a “Oh Mum, Dad was really great, can you be ill again”. Ever get the feeling you’re doomed forever to be bad cop???